tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69825347579571588662024-02-20T15:16:49.040-08:00Joyful Motheringcrunchyconmamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15815400052572203294noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6982534757957158866.post-836177146249772952011-11-03T02:38:00.000-07:002011-11-03T02:38:17.705-07:00Mothering is so rewarding but it wasn't always easy for meThis is an exerpt from my 11/3/11 MOMentum talk at Cedar Creek Church -- West Toledo campus.<br />
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, I am here today to encourage you in your role as the maker of the home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being a mother is one of the highest privileges that God can give a woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The journey of motherhood is daunting, overwhelming and exhausting BUT also exhilarating, exciting and oh so rewarding if we have Jesus’ servant attitude in our heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, if we are wise and eternally-minded, we need to seek God’s love, grace and wisdom to guide us in raising these children who have been hand-picked by God and given specifically to us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of my favorite reminders to other mothers is that our children are our primary mission field.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have such a privilege to be able to introduce them to Jesus and to teach them everyday how to love God and to love others – through our words and our actions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have you ever thought of yourself as a missionary?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, you can be – right in your own home.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, you all are starting a series called “The Maker of the Home” in which you will focus on ways to make your home more peaceful, more engaging, simpler and more memorable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ll share with you what works for me and my family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each suggestion may or may not work well for you and your family but maybe the suggestions will help you think of something that will work for you.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">But first let me share with you that becoming a mother was a bit difficult for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was quite a transition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was thirty years old when we had our first child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And for quite a few years before that I wasn’t sure that I wanted to be a mom – I had some anxiety about having children – that I would be a good mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a University job that paid well and I really liked it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Deep down though I knew that if we were to have children that the best thing for them would be that I would be a stay-at-home mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first few months after Jayson was born were very trying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was on maternity leave but I couldn’t wait to go back to work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being home all day with a baby was not enjoyable or rewarding for me – I was lonely and depressed that my baby cried all the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At my office, I was important and there was no crying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But after a few months of going back to work I sensed that God was calling me to quit my job and be at home full-time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I prayed “God if You really want me to be a stay-at-home mom then You are going to have to help me hate my job.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure enough I did start to hate my job and I longed to be at home with Jayson.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I did quit my job but it still wasn’t easy to embrace the role of stay-at-home mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, it took me quite a few years before I could say that I truly loved that I was a stay-at-home mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I tell you this because I don’t want you to think I’m some saint or a perfect mom or that it came easily for me.</span></span></div>crunchyconmamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15815400052572203294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6982534757957158866.post-70566301752722494932011-11-03T02:34:00.001-07:002011-11-03T02:34:26.847-07:00A Memorable Home (an exerpt from my 11/3/11 MOMentum talk)<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The next topic is a memorable home which pairs easily with an engaged home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My recommendation is to take a day each week for rest and play for family and friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My husband and I decided about a year ago to start celebrating the Sabbath on Saturdays.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For us, the Sabbath is not about a list of do’s and don’ts or religious ceremony and rules.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We just felt like celebrating the Sabbath was a great tradition to start doing for a lot of reasons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First, it was God’s idea so it deserved some consideration.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Second, Jesus called Himself the Lord of the Sabbath.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, we decided to start celebrating the Sabbath as a way to really focus on our family and on Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love the Sabbath.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We don’t do any chores or shopping – we save those for Sunday – our work at home day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Sabbath is truly a day of celebration for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We really focus on spending quality time with each other – having fun with each other, going to the park, visiting with friends and family, and we almost always go to church on Saturday evening to round out our Sabbath day.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, I encourage you to see if you can take a day or even an evening each week to really focus on bonding with each other – making memories that will keep your children’s hearts full of your love.</span></span></div>crunchyconmamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15815400052572203294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6982534757957158866.post-61315774703881180622011-11-03T02:33:00.000-07:002011-11-03T02:33:29.458-07:00A Simple Home (an exerpt from my 11/3/11 MOMentum talk)<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The first round of suggestions is focused on helping you to simplify your life and your home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is there an area of your home that gives you heartburn when you look at it because it is cluttered and unorganized?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are you feeling overwhelmed with too much on your schedule?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Let’s tackle our physical space first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I admit that I have always had a hard time controlling paper clutter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And while I would not consider myself a pack rat, I used to have a hard time getting rid of things I no longer needed – things like books, clothing, kitchen gadgets, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d think – “oh, I might NEED that one day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or I might find a use for that some day.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m much better now because of a book that really helped me in this area of de-cluttering and organizing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The book title is <u>Lighten Up</u> by Michelle Passoff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Toledo library system has it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The premise is that you should get rid of those things that are not helping you to achieve your current <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>goals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She encourages the readers to analyze each room – are the things in this room the best place for them?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are the things in your living space helping you to achieve your goals?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are you using those things enough to warrant “premium space” in your living area or could those things be packed away and put out of sight until you need them?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or better yet given or thrown away?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Her argument is along the lines of a place for everything and everything has its place but it goes even beyond that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She wants you to really think about the “things” that are occupying your space.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She contends that once you have gotten rid of the things that are not helping you to achieve your goals that you will feel better and you will be more likely to work on the things that you want to work instead of being stuck and shuffling around irrelevant clutter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For instance, I love reading.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I had more money to spend I would most likely buy more books.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a lot of books.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I was de-cluttering our living room, I had to make some decisions about the books on the living room book shelf.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to ask myself how often I was reading each particular book or magazine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was able to make those decisions and pack up the books that I knew I didn’t reach for very often.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those boxes are clearly labeled and in the attic for whenever I do need to reference them.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I know that this is true for me – when my house is clean I just FEEL so good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When it is messy and cluttered, it brings my mood down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And if I need space to work on a project and I cannot find a clean spot to work on it, I get grumpy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is easier to be motivated to clean when you can focus on how good you feel when you have a clean home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it is easier to clean your home when there is less clutter to start with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that when I decided that the living room was no longer going to be the toy room as well (meaning that the toys did not live in the living room, not that the kids couldn’t play with them in the living room) – it was so nice to be in the living room without piles of toys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And now it only takes a few minutes to get the living room straightened up and ready for company.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve found the same principle to be true with my schedule.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I am always running around doing stuff, I get worn out mentally and physically.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am the type of person who likes to be involved – I realize now that it is a re-occurring theme in my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got involved in a lot of groups and activities in high school and in college.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess I didn’t want to miss out on anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I quit my full-time job to be a full-time stay-at-home mom, I felt like I had to take my children out to every single “fun” event around town – I didn’t want to miss out on anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a while, I realized that I wasn’t having a good time and I wasn’t so sure that my very young children were enjoying the activities either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I finally realized that some activities were better left for when they were older and could enjoy them more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I realized that they enjoyed being at home playing just as much as anything else – maybe even more so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, now that they are older they beg me for the zoo and the Imagination Station, etc.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’m also the kind of person who likes to get things done – I like the sense of accomplishment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would often find myself saying yes to more and more commitments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would get to the point where those commitments were distracting me from my primary ministry – my family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In early 2009, I found myself very overloaded and overwhelmed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt God calling me to release almost all of my outside commitments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, over the span of several months, I released them one by one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to ask myself for each commitment: is this commitment REALLY helping me to achieve the things that God has called me – Elissa Teal – to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can remember feeling so free after giving up all those extras.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember telling my friends this little nugget of discovered wisdom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“There are many GOOD and GODLY things to do out there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But what are the things that GOD wants you personally to do?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Have you ever thought about that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pray for God’s leading – ask Him what He wants you to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guarantee you that the ministry that He wants you to place the highest value on is your family – your husband, your children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only after you are doing well in your primary ministry of family would I encourage you to take on additional serving opportunities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that only after praying for God’s leading for a particular ministry or commitment.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Okay, so my final thought on a simple home is to evaluate what is cluttering your home and your time and your mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Clean out that which does not help you achieve the goals that you have embraced.</span></span></div>crunchyconmamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15815400052572203294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6982534757957158866.post-5426202200960881392011-11-03T02:31:00.000-07:002011-11-03T02:31:34.678-07:00An Engaged Home (an exerpt from my 11/3/11 MOMentum talk)<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The next topic is an engaged home and it dovetails perfectly with a simple home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once you have simplified your home and schedule a bit, then you can focus on your primary ministry -- your family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I said this earlier but I will say it again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your children are your primary mission field.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I implore you to win your husband’s and children’s hearts by loving them as you love Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus said in Luke 6:31 “Do to others as you would like them to do to you.” He also told this story in Matthew 25: 31 – 40 “</span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <sup>31</sup> “But when the Son of Man<sup>[</sup></span><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+25&version=NLT#fen-NLT-24012d" title="See footnote d"><sup><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">d</span></sup></a><sup><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">]</span></sup><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. <sup>32</sup> All the nations<sup>[</sup></span><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+25&version=NLT#fen-NLT-24013e" title="See footnote e"><sup><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">e</span></sup></a><sup><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">]</span></sup><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. <sup>33</sup> He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <sup>34</sup> “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. <sup>35</sup> For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. <sup>36</sup> I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <sup>37</sup> “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? <sup>38</sup> Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? <sup>39</sup> When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <sup>40</sup> “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters,<sup>[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+25&version=NLT#fen-NLT-24021f" title="See footnote f"><span style="color: blue;">f</span></a>]</sup> you were doing it to me!’”</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Determine to take some time each day to be fully present with each of your children – put the phone away, close Facebook, turn the TV off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Think of the things that each of your children like to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jayson loves to play Mancala (a board game) and to snuggle, George likes to play video games, and Gary Nicholas likes to color together, play cars, and to snuggle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My husband likes to go for a drive together and get appetizers at a restaurant occasionally -- and of course spending alone time with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It may be a sacrifice for you to do the things that your loved ones do – I hate video games but I am willing to share in that experience because it makes George feel loved that mommy does a few rounds of Angry Birds with him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I often feel like I have 10 million things that need to get done around the house and taking time to snuggle with my boys could feel like an inconvenience but I consciously decide that it is more important to give my children the attention that they desire because I know that it makes them feel loved and when they feel loved then they feel secure in their relationship with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And when they feel secure and loved by me, when I teach them about God who loves them then they can better conceptualize God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They trust me and they trust what I tell them. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Additionally, when I know that they have had their “love tank” filled I don’t have to feel bad when I have to say that mommy is busy right now and I cannot play but we can play later.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They trust me that I will play with them later.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">One of the best ways to engage your child or your husband is to speak their love language.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman was a life-changing book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My husband’s mother gave it to us right before we married and I am ever so grateful that she did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was so eye-opening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It helped us discover how to love each other well by understanding how each of us best feels loved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, in case you have never heard of love languages before, there are five: 1. Words of Affirmation 2. Quality Time 3. Receiving Gifts 4. Acts of Service 5. Physical Touch</span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Here are the definitions from the website – 5lovelanguages dot com.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Words of Affirmation</span></span></div><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-left: 0.75in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Quality Time </span></span></div><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-left: 0.75in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Receiving Gifts </span></span></div><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-left: 0.75in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Acts of Service </span></span></div><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-left: 0.75in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Physical Touch</span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you are still not sure of your own love language, you can go to Dr. Chapman’s website and take a quiz to find out what your primary love language is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The website is 5lovelanguages.com.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are also quizzes for children to take so that you can find out what your child’s love language is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just click on the assessments tab.</span></span></div>crunchyconmamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15815400052572203294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6982534757957158866.post-31978420541771525692011-11-03T02:29:00.000-07:002011-11-03T02:29:29.506-07:00A Peaceful Home (an exerpt from my 11/3/11 MOMentum talk)<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lastly, we come to fostering a peaceful home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would encourage you to pray for wisdom to see what is causing any strife in your home.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’m sure that you are all familiar with the Duggar family – Michelle and Jim Bob have 19 children and they have a TLC and Discovery Channel reality TV show called 17 Kids and Counting then 18 Kids and Counting. Well, they have written several books that are just so inspiring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One is called <u>The Duggars: 20 and Counting</u> and then another called <u>A Love that Multiplies</u>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While the TV shows were neat to watch, the books really show the Duggar’s hearts for God and for others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They share an intimate look at how they love and manage such a large family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>None of the family members are perfect and conflicts do arise but Michelle and Jim Bob share how they teach conflict resolution. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For conflicts between children, Michelle says that they do not just have the offender say “I’m sorry”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She says that she asks the child what he or she did wrong and let’s the child answer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then she asks them what they should have done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then the child is instructed to say “I’m sorry for ‘such and such offense’, I was wrong, will you please forgive me?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then the hurt child has the opportunity to forgive the offender.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It helps the children learn about empathy – how the other child feels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it reinforces that we need to ask forgiveness, not just say “I’m sorry”.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The other bit of wisdom that I learned from the Duggar’s books is that I need to watch the tone of my voice when I am speaking to my children and my husband.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I admit that it can be easy for me to have an annoyed tone when someone comes to me and asks me for something when I am in the middle of doing something else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What I realized is that my children started to answer me in an annoyed tone when I would ask them for something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was very humbling when my husband pointed that out to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, in the book, Michelle shares that she has given her permission to her children to gently put their hand on her arm if they sense that her tone of voice is angry or annoyed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This reminds Michelle to change her tone and her attitude while talking to or correcting her children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a great way to keep yourself in check.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just don’t get annoyed when a little hand is placed on your arm while you are correcting your children.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I can attest that it does pay off to model the behavior that you want your children to have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have been complimented many times that our children are thoughtful and kind and I attribute that to the fact that my husband and I consistently treat each other well in words and in actions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Children really do imitate those whom they are around the most.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love this poem by Dorothy Law Nolte called:</span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Children Live What They Learn”</span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.<br />
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.<br />
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.<br />
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.<br />
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.<br />
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.<br />
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.<br />
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.<br />
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.<br />
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.<br />
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.<br />
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.<br />
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.<br />
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.<br />
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.<br />
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.<br />
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.<br />
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.<br />
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.</span></span></div>crunchyconmamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15815400052572203294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6982534757957158866.post-33417380426362652512011-11-01T06:46:00.001-07:002011-11-01T06:50:19.712-07:00The 5 Love Languages<a href="http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/" target="_blank">Click here to discover YOUR love language</a>crunchyconmamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15815400052572203294noreply@blogger.com0